This is seriously funny. Even more so because I recall as an undergraduate some discussion of excess ham at Networks being used to make ham smoothies. After reading this I will always think of the dinosaurs being killed off by a giant fat man on fire crashing into the earth.
Update: On poking around, I see that this has been posted on Crooked Timber as well.
An Ergodic Walk 
Okay, so I’ve never eaten ham jello. But I have had orange jello with ham in it. And Miracle Whip on top.
God Bless Minnesota.
Actually, according to my great aunt, the reason such things are so popular in the midwest is that during the depression they were a status symbol at potlucks. Only people who could afford fridges were able to bring them.