I learned today that Sen. John Cornyn’s (R-Texas) believes we are in danger from India…
We’re fighting — we have graver threats and greater threats than that: From a rising India, with increased exercise of their military power; Russia; Iran, that’s threatening to build a nuclear weapon; with North Korea, shooting intercontinental ballistic missiles, capable of hitting American soil.
I figured out how the insidious Indian plan works:
- Get America addicted to the sweet tunes of A.R. Rahman, as featured in Slumdog Millionaire.
- ???
- Profit / world domination!
Clearly the only way to save ourselves is to destroy Bollywood with our F-22 fighter jets… oh wait, Slumdog was made by white people…
An Ergodic Walk 
It’s the British. They’ve been bought out by brainwashingly tasty curry places. Now they’re a pawn of the evil Indian empire. Who can blame them really after centuries of boiled mutton?
And let’s not forget Dr. Siddhant Arya (India’s own Ernst Stavro Blofeld)!
Cornyn is a reliable source of weapons-grade stupid, but in this case, he’s not alone. That’s what happens when you’ve got a product whose manufacture touches 44 states. In the sense that the F-22’s mission was to spread federal defense contracting dollars around, it was a fabulous success.