F-22s and the Indian Menace

I learned today that Sen. John Cornyn’s (R-Texas) believes we are in danger from India…

We’re fighting — we have graver threats and greater threats than that: From a rising India, with increased exercise of their military power; Russia; Iran, that’s threatening to build a nuclear weapon; with North Korea, shooting intercontinental ballistic missiles, capable of hitting American soil.

I figured out how the insidious Indian plan works:

  1. Get America addicted to the sweet tunes of A.R. Rahman, as featured in Slumdog Millionaire.
  2. ???
  3. Profit / world domination!

Clearly the only way to save ourselves is to destroy Bollywood with our F-22 fighter jets… oh wait, Slumdog was made by white people…