stately, plump

I am neither, and therefore I bear little corporeal resemblance to Buck Mulligan. Since today is Bloomsday I bought myself a copy of Ulysses, my old one having perished. This one is an old hardback from Moe’s, delightfully musty. I read part of the first chapter on the steps of the library before the crowds of orientating students and parents forced me to flee to the relative calm of Cory Hall.

Don’t bother reading on unless you care for my self-excoriating drivel.

Yesterday was both good and bad — I cooked a tasty dinner with Bobak of pan-seared tuna with ginger-shiitake cream sauce, broccoli raab cooked the way Winnie suggested oh-so-long ago at the start of this blog (but it needed more pepper flakes), fresh bread from the Acme bakery, a little spring salad, and a tasty gamay wine Bobak found in Napa. Later on we hung out with Allie at Spat’s and Au Coquelet. That was the good.

The bad was that I lost my temper twice in bad ways — once at my landlord, who was giving me a little bit of a runaround on the dead animal under the house issue, and once at Allie when we were at Spat’s, resulting in me storming out of the place and starting to walk home. I was on a pretty even keel for a while this year, but I’m beginning to lose my hold on myself again. I think the more comfortable I get in a situation the more likely I am to lose my temper. Perhaps the key is to be insecure all of the time. Or just learn to have more self control. To sum up, I need to change. A good start would be to not stress out constantly and take it out on people around me by having a big chip on my shoulder. A smaller chip would do, and I should superglue it to my skin so that it can’t get knocked off without causing me serious injury.

Deb told me that she superglued her fingers together in her architecture studio. That sounds pretty damn painful.

This wins for worst entry ever.

0 thoughts on “stately, plump

  1. i’m back again with all the answers! and here they are (warning: harsh reality included):

    1. come to boston and cook me dinner. you’ll feel better.

    2. you’re not beginning to lose hold on yourself. everyone goes through days when they are just particularly irritable. ask any of my roommates what i’m like when i’m in a bad mood. they’ll probably be nice and say ‘um, i don’t know, she’s fine.’ but they’d be lying. i snap at people and slam my hand down on tables and the whole works. i don’t hit people, but damn, i come close.

    3. this is what happens when you bottle things up! you gotta take some time to relax! do some yoga, get a punching bag, keep an angry bitchy journal (my favorite) that you don’t let anybody else read and write whatever you want in it.

    4. getting more uncomfortable is NOT the answer. it will just make things worse. trust me. being on edge does not make you more fun to be around. it is human nature to be more expressive when you feel like you can relax around people, so you’re going to be more willing to show that you’re angry. that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t relax, only that you should learn to express anger in a way that isn’t storming out. i know you know how to do this. you’re a theater person.

    5. your landlord probably deserved it. leaving a dead animal under your house for this long is unacceptable.

    your indefatigable know-it-all,
    -surreal

    p.s.
    6. dwell on this and i’ll kick your ass.

  2. I’d like you to think back to 1997 and 1998, and see if you can locate all the e-mails that you sent me telling me how I could be OK.

    Then I want you to delete them, because all that happened was you had a bad day. It’s all good. Besides, you may not be stately or plump, but we all adore you regardless.

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