The Bulwer-Lytton winners have been announced. The winner?

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you’ve had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.
Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA

I have no idea what kind of body would say that to me, but it would take more than a beautiful woman to stop me from eating burritos.