I really think Fafnir’s onto something:
Leprechauns are all over the universe grabbin onto matter with their tiny leprechaun hands an holdin it together. hen you walk down the street insteada plummeting into pace it is because leprechauns are holdin you down onto the earth. Of course leprechauns are pretty small so when you jump you break free for a little while until the leprechauns grab you again!
I was really hoping that the new conservative agenda would stick to things like locking up innocent people for years at a time without due process, making homosexuals into second-class citizens, and other light pastimes. But now of course, they want to get rid of evolution as well. Because, you see, this is a Christian nation, and therefore the scientific truths that we hold dear should reflect our Christian heritage.
I think all the benefits of modern pharmaceutical and medical technologies that have devolved from experiments predicated on evolution and natutal selection should be rejected by those who deny the foundations on which they are built. If the basis goes against the Bible, are not the fruits of that research also tainted? That’s why I have some respect for the Christian Scientists. They may be nuts for not using band-aids, but at least they stand on their principles.